hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
