okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
