so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
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i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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