apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
