Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
