I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We left the knife in your bed.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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