just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
