he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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