Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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