I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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