In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
