I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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