Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize