Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
