You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The struggles of a small town man whore
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
