there was a trapeze. enough said
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
