I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize