I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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