that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
