um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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