I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Less talking, more tequila
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
