Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
