So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
