no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
