i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
