If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
