Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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