Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize