At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Success! We fucked roommates!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
