She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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