I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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