ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
handjob tips. give me some.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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