I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
