He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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