I skipped work to stalk him.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
