Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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