I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
