"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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