I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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