We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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