He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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