Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
