I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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