I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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