Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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