oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
