Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
