just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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