And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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