nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
please come you make the beer taste better
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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