K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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