i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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