Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
