Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
