'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
