I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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