i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
