Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize