if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
