you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
