What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
if only i could text you this smell
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
