lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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