were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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