Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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