well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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