so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
